Word Vomit

I’ve had this thought in my head for awhile…

Actually, I have a lot of thoughts in my head and figured a blog is a great way to lay them on the table. Writing things down by hand (to me) can become redundant and boring, and besides, if you’re writing in a journal or a diary, no one will read it unless you say, “hey, read my diary” and who says that? And I like to share my thoughts, especially since I enjoy feedback.

So – where to begin…

 

I’ve experienced a LOT of change in the last two years.. I stopped going to college full-time, I joined and quit a lot of jobs, I escaped from the realms of a suffocating abusive relationship, and the biggest change of all… I moved out of my childhood home and my mom moved out of state to the other end of the east coast.

Now, that’s just the gist of it.

 

Throughout all of these events, so to speak, I have found myself in a bottomless pit of depression. With losing my college career, I never got to finish and obtain my degree after four years of hard work. With joining and quitting jobs, I’d say that stemmed from the depression, I haven’t had a steady income. Escaping that abusive relationship – that’s a story for another day. Moving away from home… That has to be the biggest weight on me right now.

 

My whole life, I always wanted to be independent and on my own. Here I am! And I suck at it. I can’t make enough money to keep up with my life, I can’t keep a job because I’m too depressed to commit. On the upside, I’m in school through SNHU (Online) which I applied to and worked out all on my own and am able to do through loans (thank you FAFSA). So, great! I’m working towards that degree… how do I not sink in the process?

 

My outlooks have been a little brighter knowing I’ll be starting school in the upcoming week and finally taking the last steps towards my degree, but I really need to get my butt in gear and get a job! I apply and apply and apply and then I just can’t bring myself to go to these interviews. Why? Am I homesick? Am I that depressed that I can’t function?

 

Usually I’m the friend with words of encouragement and joy! Now I’m reaching out for help…

 

Hoping I can move on with this Blog with more happy posts, but I’m here to take you on my journey to that happiness.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

 

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