Long Time, No Post! (Ft. Review of The Identicals)

HELLO!

I am sincerely sorry for my absence. No one likes a blogger who’s inconsistent and doesn’t post… but when depression strikes, everything is left behind.

SO… what have I been up to? Well…

Last week I read The Identicals by Elin Hilderbrand… in approximately… 8 hours total?

AWESOME read. Honestly, probably one of her best ones. I am an avid Elin Hilderbrand fan – the only books of hers I haven’t read are her winter short stories and Silver Girl, which I just picked up at my library today! Oh and Winter in Paradise, but it’s new enough that it’s acceptable that I haven’t read it yet… and the library didn’t have it so… boooooo 😦

Here is my Goodreads review!

The IdenticalsThe Identicals by Elin Hilderbrand

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Physically identical, but polar opposite personalities.

Hilderbrand depicts a story of identical twins Tabitha and Harper Frost who were separated from each other when their parents decided to divorce as they went to college. Before they left, the two played a game of rock-paper-scissors to decide who was going with their father Billy and who was staying with their high-strung, money hungry, designer mother Eleanor Roxie-Frost.

That game of rock-paper-scissors changed their lives forever.

Separated by 11 miles of ocean, Harper resides on Martha’s Vineyard with her father while Tabitha resides on Nantucket with her mother and her 16 year old daughter Ansley. When tragedy strikes the family, it’s time to reconnect and work together as a family to get through their hardship.

After 14 years apart (with a small meet-up in the middle when Tabitha had struggles with a premature baby), Tabitha and Harper are forced to reckon with their past and have each other’s backs. Will they reconcile or will it all blow up in shambles?

Hilderbrand writes, yet again, another novel that pulls your heartstrings and keeps you turning the pages. As a long-time fan of Hilderbrand, I have to say this was one of my favorites. One of my favorite things about Hilderbrand is that she knows Nantucket and the state of Massachusetts so well that when she writes a setting in her story, it is so ecclecticly vibrant in description that you feel like you’re right there in the story.

View all my reviews

 

I recently decided to obtain a library card because I am currently unemployed due to medical reasons and I can no longer afford my book obsession. Today, I had myself a little library mini-haul.

What did I pick up?

Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult

Silver Girl by Elin Hilderbrand

Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Finding Emotional Balance: A Guide for Women by Merry Noel Miller

 

Some may think – that last one seems a little out of place considering the genre of the other three. I decided to pick it up becuase I am currently experiencing one of the worst bouts of depression in all my years of life. Sometimes, not even a book can take me away from the reality of it all like it usually does for me. I had to do something… So I’ve decided to start with that one. So far, so good. I’ve only read 42 pages and I’m completely enlightened about the woman’s body and mind. I don’t feel out of place or alone; so many others are going through exactly what I am.

I was reading All Fall Down by Jennifer Weiner… I did not finish (although I probably will at some point because one of my pet peeves is leaving a book unfinished regardless of whether or not I enjoyed it). I ordinarily adore and admire Weiner’s writing, but this one seemed redundant more than anything.

Thoughts? I’d love to hear from you, especially during this tough time.

Happy Friday! TGIF

xo – liv

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What is “anxiety”

Ever experienced a time where there was just so much on your mind you couldn’t even stay asleep through the night? The constant worry is just there in the back (front and sides) of your mind and it can actually alter the way our body functions.

“Anxiety” and “depressed” are such  lay-terms in this day in age. Everyone will say, “I’m having some anxiety over this…” or “I’m just so depressed over this…”

It’s one thing to be anxious or sad or down in the dumps, but that doesn’t mean you have anxiety or depression.

Anxiety and Depression are medical terms used to diagnose patients with mental illness.

I, unfortunately, happen to suffer from both. I have days where I just do NOT want to get out of bed. My mind says “get up, don’t be lazy, just shake it off,” but the rest of me says, “forget about it – nothing great will happen today.” That’s the depression talking.

I overthink everything. I constantly think I’m doing something wrong or that someone is out to get me or that someone is mad at me for something I may have done, even though I didn’t do anything at all.

I have times where I just feel like my mind has so many thoughts at one time I just don’t know how I’ll ever stop and come to some peace. One thought turns into another two thoughts and those two thoughts branch out into just a forest full of thoughts and, usually, worries or fears. Then once you have that forest, you try to find your way out of the forest of thoughts and worries and fears and just as you start to make some progress…

a forest fire.

THAT, folks, is anxiety. I hope that someday people will stop using these terms [depression, anxiety] as lay terms and realize that there really are some people suffering out there.

 

With mental illness comes coping mechanisms. Most people see a psychiatrist to talk about their feelings and find some sort of medium in their struggles. Many may also take prescription anti-depressants or anti-anxieties. But aside from those, there is also the aspect of self-help which I am a BIG advocate of.

When you’re all alone and you’re having these feelings of doubt and despair, are you going to sit there and wallow? You might. But eventually you’re going to have to pick yourself up and conquer the inner demon that’s eating you.

I’m a big fan of books. Especially self-help books. One book that truly inspired me and kept me on track to getting my degree and just keep persevering is You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. Sincero is a phenomenal author who writes with true integrity and a splash of humor and she has that ability to really grasp the reader. I’d consider this book a good one for those of you who really need the help, but have no motivation to get it. She will inspire you! To do GREAT things! And will really explain to you why we should all understand that we are worth something. We are all here for a reason.

If you’re feeling down and you’re sitting around watching Netflix and eating you’re feelings, go buy that book! Then take it to a park and read it in the fresh air!

 

Seriously, I did it.

 

Twice.

 

🙂

Word Vomit

I’ve had this thought in my head for awhile…

Actually, I have a lot of thoughts in my head and figured a blog is a great way to lay them on the table. Writing things down by hand (to me) can become redundant and boring, and besides, if you’re writing in a journal or a diary, no one will read it unless you say, “hey, read my diary” and who says that? And I like to share my thoughts, especially since I enjoy feedback.

So – where to begin…

 

I’ve experienced a LOT of change in the last two years.. I stopped going to college full-time, I joined and quit a lot of jobs, I escaped from the realms of a suffocating abusive relationship, and the biggest change of all… I moved out of my childhood home and my mom moved out of state to the other end of the east coast.

Now, that’s just the gist of it.

 

Throughout all of these events, so to speak, I have found myself in a bottomless pit of depression. With losing my college career, I never got to finish and obtain my degree after four years of hard work. With joining and quitting jobs, I’d say that stemmed from the depression, I haven’t had a steady income. Escaping that abusive relationship – that’s a story for another day. Moving away from home… That has to be the biggest weight on me right now.

 

My whole life, I always wanted to be independent and on my own. Here I am! And I suck at it. I can’t make enough money to keep up with my life, I can’t keep a job because I’m too depressed to commit. On the upside, I’m in school through SNHU (Online) which I applied to and worked out all on my own and am able to do through loans (thank you FAFSA). So, great! I’m working towards that degree… how do I not sink in the process?

 

My outlooks have been a little brighter knowing I’ll be starting school in the upcoming week and finally taking the last steps towards my degree, but I really need to get my butt in gear and get a job! I apply and apply and apply and then I just can’t bring myself to go to these interviews. Why? Am I homesick? Am I that depressed that I can’t function?

 

Usually I’m the friend with words of encouragement and joy! Now I’m reaching out for help…

 

Hoping I can move on with this Blog with more happy posts, but I’m here to take you on my journey to that happiness.

 

Thanks for reading!