Join Me In My Life-Changing Journey…

WARNING: This blog post contains graphic content and may be sensitive to some. If this is too much for you, you may unfollow me or simply leave the post alone. If this is somewhat awesome to you, please share my post with others (and let me know!).

So… no, it’s not a bookish post, but I’m hoping y’all will read anyways!

I haven’t been reading much – between school, all of my doctor’s visits, and this recovery in general, I’ve been a little neglectful of my books, but I promise I’ll get back to reading and reviewing soon!

As I have mentioned in my other blog posts, I am going through a medical journey. Last night, I decided to finally reveal what I am going through on my personal Facebook page and I received such an overwhelming outpouring of positivity and support that I decided to share with the whole world, including my fellow bloggers!

I will begin with the backstory…

In 1994, I was born with a rare skin condition that left me with pre-melanomic cells, with a high likelihood of becoming metastatic melanoma. Doctors decided to take all precautions necessary and remove the concerning marks, beginning with a giant congenital nevus that was splayed from the left side of my torso around to my back. This surgery was done by an amazing plastic surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston when I was 8 months old, just old enough to go through a procedure like this. The surgery was done over 8 days, including excision of skin and the addition of skin grafts. Unfortunately, I do not have any pictures of this time… Pictures weren’t as easily taken and kept back in the 90’s as they are now on all of our digital platforms.

Below are 3 photos that show you what the scar has looked like over the years – I have never been ashamed of my body, scared to display my scars to the world, or even sensitive to the subject. It is a part of who I am and a part of my story.

Screen Shot 2018-11-06 at 11.20.12 AM.pngScreen Shot 2018-11-06 at 11.21.41 AM.pngScreen Shot 2018-11-06 at 11.20.58 AM.png

If these are gross, repulsive, or even scary to you, please step away. They will only get more graphic as we go.

A couple months ago I met with a new plastic surgeon (since my wonderful surgeon from the 90s has retired) about something on my face. Little did I know that this would turn into having my scar REMOVED! Little did I know, if I want to have children, this procedure is necessary and I am not getting any younger so I said, “let’s do it!”

It has been an uncomfortable struggle, but I know every minute will be worth it in the end.

I have 4 tissue expanders located subdermally – two in my torso and two in my back. Tissue expansion is often seen done in the head, arms, or legs for burn victims and is not often done in trunk of the body. I am rare, tell me something I don’t know.

The expanders are filled up twice a week with saline solution – the main goal is for the expanders to stretch the healthy skin so that once they are big enough (about the size of a full grown eggplant), the scar can be excised and my trunk can be covered with the new grown skin.

Below are 4 photos I took yesterday (11/5/2018) after my 3rd week of fill-ups. These are graphic.

Screen Shot 2018-11-06 at 11.28.39 AM.pngScreen Shot 2018-11-06 at 11.28.46 AM.png

Screen Shot 2018-11-06 at 11.28.53 AM.pngScreen Shot 2018-11-06 at 11.29.00 AM.png

Some questions to answer:

  • Yes, it is painful, especially the days of fill-ups.
  • Yes, I can only sleep in one position.
  • Yes, they can pop! I have to be mindful of sharp edges, even pen tips.
  • Yes, I feel like the Pillsbury Dough Boy or the Michelin Man.

 

I wanted to post something since it’s been so long, but I didn’t have any material. This is my personal blog so I decided to get personal!

I hope you will all continue to follow and support me through this journey. I am so grateful for this experience and would be even more grateful if I had a team of supporters behind me!

Thanks for reading 🙂

Happy Tuesday!

Blogger’s Block… Am I Really Talking Politics Now?

I’m still new at this blogging thing…

and I’m already having writer’s block, or as some like to call it, blogger’s block.

What do you all want to hear about? What do you like to read about?

I could talk about books, health, fitness, beauty, mental health, food, school, anything!

…just not politics.

…alright maybe for a second.

I see MANY posts about this Kavanaugh situation. Moral of the story – if sexual assault or harassment is even on the table, his nomination and his job should be completely off the table.

I don’t understand the debate around it. NBC posted a tweet stating: “Even if it were all true, does this disqualify him from the Supreme Court?” YES IT ABSOLUTELY DOES! If he were to get the nomination and be placed into the supreme court, that just tells every other man in the world that they can get away with sexual assault, and still do big things with their lives.

Many people say, “Why so long for these women to come forward about their attacks?”

All I have to say to that is… #metoo.

I was sexually harrassed and assaulted by someone I thought I loved, for 3 years. I never said a word to anyone, until the day it went too far.

That same day, I was police shamed. I was told “it will be your word against his, you didn’t speak up for so long so it almost seems premeditated and false, and he doesn’t have a record so in the court’s eyes, he’s a good kid.”

The only thing they suggested and allowed me to do was get a restraining order, but if I had gone to trial, I “would’ve lost hard.”

THIS is why women don’t come forward. It’s ALWAYS the woman’s word against the man’s. Also, often times these women are threatened that if they tell anyone, they will be hurt, or worse. If you don’t have that threat in writing, the court won’t believe you.

This is a huge issue of justice in the US. How can you create laws that say sexual misconduct is illegal, but then brush it off a little because the accusee is a politician?

PLEASE. 

To all the women out there with a story they’re keeping inside, I support you. I understand why you have not come forward. I understand your fear.

To all the women out there with a story they have let out the bag, I commend you for your strength. I feel for you in my heart. I wish I had the strength and audacity that you do, but I know I can’t handle that fight that I may not even win.

#metoo

xo – liv